Sometimes, as a gamer, you just wish you could talk to the people in charge of producing the content you play and sit them down. You know, just to have a little conversation and praise them, voice concerns, or other such actions.
Since I can’t do that, I thought of the idea of writing all of these things down and compiling them at the end of the year as a way to reflect back on the year in gaming.
But I don’t have the liberty of being able to write everything I want to say out to all of these companies and/or people. It’d turn into some 540-part series that people would probably get tired of after the third one.
So that’s why I’ve decided to sum up all of my feelings towards each company/person in a measly ten words for each of them. Plus, it’s much more to the point and much easier on the ol’ eyes.
Last time, I tackled the developers and publishers. This time? Individual folks get their ten words (or less) of advice/ridicule/praise/etc.
And so, in 10 words or less, I present everything I want to say to notable figures in the gaming industry this year:
Satoru Iwata: Where’s my F-Zero Wii game?
Shigeru Miyamoto: Galaxy is great, but can we have a new IP?
Howard Stringer: For SCEA’s sake, please keep your lips sealed shut.
Kaz Hirai: Don’t follow your boss’ example.
Phil Harrison: Haven’t heard from you in a while. Where you at?
Hideo Kojima: Don’t end Metal Gear just yet. It’s way too good.
Richard Garriott (a.k.a. Lord British) Best. House. Ever.
Toru Iwatani (father of the Pacman series): Enjoy retirement.
Jack Thompson: Enjoy unemployment.
Peter Moore: EA Sports hasn’t innovated in years Please change that.
Jeff Gerstmann: Hey, we’re hiring. Is free coffee a good enough perk?
Ken Levine: BioShock: a great first game… but expectations will be higher.
Luke Smith: What exactly do you do at Bungie? I’m not sure.
Tomonobu Itagaki: Ninja Gaiden DS doesn’t have jiggle physics… does it?
Hironobu Sakaguchi (creator of the Final Fantasy series): Go back and save Final Fantasy from itself.
Will Wright: Spore might be delayed, but you’re still a gaming god.
J Allard: Where are you?
John Romero: Consider developing for the Wii… pretty please?
Tim Schafer: I love Brutal Legend and the game’s still in development.
Peter Molyneux: How much longer until Fable 2 is done?
George Broussard: How much longer until Duke Nukem Forever is done?
Keiji Inafune: More Mega Man on the consoles, less on the handhelds.
Larry Hryb (Major Nelson): You’re the best thing Microsoft has going right now.
Reggie Fils-Aime: More ass-kicking and name-taking in ’08. That is all.